A townie is a cacka who thinks he/she is 'in' they say completely made-up words like
'mush', 'innit' and 'bruv'
they are often incredibly un-intelligent and wear fake burberry or cheap sports jackets and caps. They also tend to wear these caps at almost vertical angles on their heads.

Townies are also often completely deaf:
(a townie is walking along in his 'crew' and a group of skaters walk past)
Skater1:(shouts) Townie!!
Townie1: Wha' d'ya call me??
Skater2: He called you a townie duh
Townie2: Wha' d'ya call i'm?
av Townie Hater 21 december 2004
There are many definitions and they basically all say the same thing,mine will probably say exactly the same,but here it is...
Head - Baseball cap,these are becoming more and more ridiculouslsy sized and coloured!
Hair...will not be any more that 2mm long,
Ears - Usually some type of metal around the ear.
Eyes - looking around for trouble...proabably intoxicated by something cheap,or stolen
Mouth - S**t,f**k,ya mum,stupid made up words that nobody understands but, if one townie says it...another one says it and before you know it we are all breadbins!
Moving down the body to the neck - cheap..fake..pieces of foil covered chocolate stuck together to make some "bling" or something they picked up from "da'n da markii'"
The hoody would most probably fit atleast 5 townies into one, this will be over the head...even if the baseball cap is on! and if everyone else has their tops off because it is the middle of august.
Tracksuit bottoms, in a whole range of colours, the trousers may never ever go past the top of their trainers, otherwise they suddenly become a grunger
The socks will be either from "da'n da markii'" or from a cheap clothes shop that their mum shops in.
Trainers,full stop! if they are not (apparently) more than £100 they will not be seen dead in them
All clothing will be bougth from "da'n da markii'" or stolen and given to them by their dad that never sees them or their older brother (was probably a townie)

The female townie...basic really act like a s**g,sound like....well, thats a difficult one to describe...lets just say, if they want to say something...it will be loud and be some form of cockney or extreme-commoness ,the earings...big enough for dolphins to jump through and look heavy about the smae clothing as the male townie

listens to a sad pathetic excuse for music

usually drinking 24/7 cheap cider that they illegally bought in the off license because they say they are 18 when they are really 13

think they can insult everybody, from every race, culture, abilities, success, individuality, etc

think you are looking at them all the time, and use this as an excuse to have a fight

will have missed most of their secondary education and have never even heard of further education,GCSE's are a waste of their precious hanging around on corner time.

will either end up flipping burgers or in prison. females...pregnant before they learn to spell contraception.
what do you say to a townie in a suit....

Will the defendant please stand
av monkeygal 2 september 2004
someone who wears fake designer sports labels, fake burberry or mackenzie hoodies (cuz it looks like its got graffiti on it), caps with the peak at the same angle as everyone else, wear fake gold bling and steal chocolate milkshakes from the local corner shop. knows about 10 words including 'innit' and 'orrite' so communication is tricky. if male, he likes to ride a bike designed for a child 10 years younger than him, with added trick bars which he never uses. If a girl, she will wear lots of cheap burberry perfume and makeup and hair that has been gelled or sprayed back, and will have HUGE fake gold earrings. Townies are not to be confused with wankstas, who are people who try to act like gangstas and listen to 2pac and 50 cent.
Townie: 'orrite bruv, i just jacked some chocola' milkshake from dat corner shop innit, da geeza is gonna be well miffed now, dat is the fif' milkshake i jacked this week innit.'
Townie: 'innit bruv, im gonna go rape sum fuckin 5 year old, la'ers.'
av wasabi 14 juli 2004
what a townie is
1) a person who wears "rockports" or "nike air trainers"
2)coats-henri Lloyd,GILL,rockport
3) a cap that hangs half of there head
4)or, bleach blonde hair gelled to there head
4) go's around beating ppl up 4 no aperent reason
5)talks like "buzzin" "dont chat" "nugget"
6)they dislike ppl wearing any black clothing
7)they also dislike ppl not listing to hardcore dance or "blazin squad"
8)tonnes of think gold sorerigns, or big loopy earings
9)trackys that are tucked in the socks
10)they dislike ppl who dont smoke
11) they dislike ppl who are ther own individual
In conclusion townies are aload of pricks who really all should be shot dead.
ur walkin down a street and a townie go's "sweaty mosher" or "mosh mosh get a wash" or "f**kin goth ill knock u out" and takes a drag of his/her cig.
av Lucy! 17 april 2004
Dumb people who are lame and some and get pi*ssed every weekend
Townies are ghey b*stards and are only hard in numbers.They cant talk either...
See also.Ape.Monkey.Cavemen.............
av Callum macinnes 2 april 2004
If you, like me, are lucky enough to live near Middlesbrough you will see more than your fair share of townies:

Hopelessly retarded scumbags who, if male, will wear an almost horizonal baseball cap (usually tartan), either some sort of tracksuit top or a Reebok sweatshirt, with Adidas, Reebok, Nike etc. tracksuit bottoms tucked into a pair of scruffy football socks and topped off with a pair of scuffed Ellesse/Adidas/Lacoste trainers. They will be found riding their bikes through the middle of town with about 5 of their mates, listening to "happy hardcore" and/or garage music ;/;/ or sat outside the off license in gangs of ten or more waiting for "our brova" to come out with their bottle of cider.
Female townies indulge in similar activities but rather than sporting a (most likely stolen) bike, will have a pram with their bastard child in it. You can recognise them by the incredibly tight ponytails, too much make up and combo of Kappa tracksuit top and leggings/shell suit bottoms, along with their constant cries (and this counts for males as well) of "ere youuu!"
Other activities they enjoy are: being knobheads, giving people a hard time for NO reason, calling people moshers because they wear baggy jeans, making normal, respectable people's lives less fun, burning things, stealing things and generally making the world a worse place.

Judging by the amount of negative comments on this site it appears that NO-ONE likes them and they would probably all just be better off dead.
I hate them, their very existence makes me unhappy, although at least I am safe in the knowledge that I aren't one :).
"fu'in' swear down mee!! Propa gay you, swear down!!"
av bxt 31 mars 2004
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