Randolph-Macon College “The country club of higher education” is located in the small hamlet of Ashland, VA. This selective undergraduate institution is known for its personal one on one interaction with professors and the slogan “Your way right away”. This however is only the surface. Randy-Mac is all of the above but more. We rock the prep style. Ladies in Lilly and pearls, and men in POLO. We wear boat shoes and duckies like they are going out of style. Pastels rule and we aren’t afraid to pop our collar. Our Greek system rivals most large state universities, we just pay more. Some might call it paying for friends, but we think we are just better then you. Greek life is the social scene on campus. When 50% of your campus is affiliated, if you are not one, you better be friends with one. Sunday brunch is the most attended meal, that’s only if you can get up before 2pm. Everyone here was Mr. and Mrs. popular in high school, so of course, the rumor mill is as strong as ever. Thus, the reason for Sunday brunch. If you want your shit kept a secret, go to your public state university. Most students hail from the suburbs of Mid-Atlantic cities, and the occasional international student, who is most likely trafficking the drug scene on campus. People might say that our campus is full over overdressed, snobby, WASPS, and that but drink and party. We feel as though, we worked hard in high school, and it’s a four year party. Because it’s not like we actually have to get jobs after graduation. We can just call one of daddies’ golf buddies for a cushy mid-level corporate job. So why not live it up. If you think that’s bad, well then we don’t feel sorry for you. When some one says “28 days later” you don’t think of the movie. Most students associate this with the final day of J-Term/Play-Term by referring to the full month of alcoholism. To prove it, just look ask the librarian. She will tell you that the library closes 3 hours early in this term because of the lack of attendance. Spring semester is the time of year to let loose, party up, and generally have a good time. Its exactly like fall semester, but now outside on the lawns, fields, and the river banks. Sports are widely attended when held outside, because we can be completely intoxicated and get a tan at the same time. If you like this and this is what you want to become, then please, by all means, apply! But if you’re ugly, you might want to ask for plastic surgery for graduation.
Any student in attendance.