An English Major is a university student or any literate person who engages in close extensive reading. With their "expertise" in literature, they seem to think that they are experts of language and like to critisize other people's usage of the English language.
Can be applied to any one who judges word usage without at least a master's degree in Linguistics.
So the other day I was like totes and this total English Major was like "Totes? I see... A shorter more convenient form of the word: totally. This word is most commonly used by teenage girls.
The most obvious advantage of using this word is the time saved. Data collected at a prestigious university found that every syllable spoken takes approximately 0.14 seconds.
The same prestigious university also found that the average valley girl says the word totally around 190 times a day."
And I was like yeah umm I gotta go do an analysis in the acoustic phonetics lab. And the English Major was all like acoustic phonetta what?